AL-FATIHAH

Rock Ear Musik : The Shins - Girl Inform Me

I was informed by Mom just now that Atok Tahir just passed away. Yes. He passed away. I was so shocked and sad that I almost burst into tears. Ok. I did burst into tears, reminising the times I spent with him during Hari Raya. I still remember the times when he would pinch my cheek whenever I tried to salam him. I still remember the times when he would bring me to one corner and asked me to take good care of my parents and myself. And even my boyfriend, if I happen to have one. I remember the times when he would sit down and share with me stories about his life. I remember the times when he never failed to give me nougats and asked me to share it with the person I love. So cute right my Arwah Atok.

I can't go to mengebumian Atok because of school. Yes. School. On Monday. And Mom only informed me today!

How can I ever accept the fact that he's gone? He's like my advisor. He's like everything when it comes to problem solving. He's the most precious Atok ever created by Allah for me. Now, that he's gone, I can't possibly turn to someone new to give me advise right? Cause, obviously, that someone new's advise wouldn't and never be the same as the one Atok would usually gave me.

You see.

I regret not doing what I was told to do.

Atok wants me to be a good girl in school. Atok wants me to be a filial daughter. I am never a good girl, in school. And I doubt I'm a filial daughter.

Atok always warned me not to miss my solat. And he would always tell me the consequences of missing your solat. He would share with me his knowledge about the "second world".

I'm sorry Atok. I am never a good girl. And a filial daughter. And I always skip solat.

Slap me Atok. Slap me hard. As hard as you want. I know I deserve that.

Ouh. And. I still remember when he said he can't wait to see me in my graduation gown with a phd cert in my hand. And me in my wedding gown. *chuckles*

He can't witness all that. He's gone. But I'm sure he can sense the happiness when the day arrive.

Now.

I don't know how am I going to study for my Chemistry test tomorrow. Obviously, I can't concentrate. Only Allah knows how I feel now.

By the way,

readers, please do sedakahkan Al-Fatihah for Atok when you solat ok. Allah will repay you, insya'allah.

Semogo Allah mencucuri rahmat atas rohnya and ampunkan dosa-dosanya.

Dan semoga Atok dimasukkan ke golongan-golongan orang yang beriman.

Amin.

Whenever I visit Atok house in future, I know I will miss something. I will miss a sense of belonging that Atok usually gave me.

Atok, I will definately miss you.