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Tuesday, January 23, 2007 11:50 pm
THEN HE SAID "IM SO PROUD OF YOU" BEFORE I DIE.
I dreamt that I was diagnosed with having brain tumour yesterday. The scary part was, I died right before the O levels (which is fucking this year!!!!). Everything happened so fast in that dream you know. I remembered going to school late for that day and as soon as I reached my classroom, I coughed out blood in front of the whole class. Then, I could not controlled myself and collapsed to the ground. I was rushed to the Changi Hospital and he, he was right beside me all the time asking me to be strong. I was crying and at the same time, saying some prayers in order to endure the pain. After going through many tests and operations for that day, I was... pronounced dead. And at my funeral, they actually played some songs from 30 Seconds To Mars and Kill Hannah. Hahahaha!
Okay seriously, that is pretty scary isnt it? To see how you actually died, to see your own funeral. Yes I am completely aware that I must not believe in dreams 100% but yeah, it really is affecting me la. As much as I don't want to face the much dreaded O levels, I don't want to die either. There are too many things I have yet to achieve. I still want to get married and have kids, I still want to experience how good sex is and I still have to repent because I have made far too many sins in life.
I don't know if I should tell my mom about this dream. When I was in primary 2, I had the same dream and when I told her, I burst out crying and said that I don't want to die early. (Oh yes, I can be that ngembeng.) And Afiq, he was pretty confident that I won't die because he said, "Farlinah, it's only a dream. You won't die right before O levels. Stop being a drama queen! And if kau really dying of brain tumour, you will get the signs by now". I mean yeah, that dickhead is probably correct.
But then again, you will never know, my friend.
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